The Breakup
Y’all know I love an introspective ‘shrink sesh’! Strapping onto the hot seat is daring and brave; it screams, ‘bring it, I’m ready to unpack.’
So, when my therapist delivered a ‘Dear John’ letter, I felt disjointed. Whoa, you are breaking up with me; you are kidding. But I am so good at this…you can’t cut me off; you work for me…I do not accept your resignation…did I mention that I am nailing this couch thing!
My declarations did not persuade Dr. J; she was gentle but decisive. She rattled something like, ‘You got this, co-dependency, time to be it, your sea legs exist, less talking more doing…blah, blah, blah, all I knew was that she cut off the umbilical cord.
Keep On
The other day, Dr. J’s words popped into my head when a friend said she had been seeing her therapist for a decade. ‘Hmm, that seems like a long time. Why hasn’t your therapist broken up with you?’ She responded, ‘Nope, not an option. And if she did, I would find someone else. My weekly sessions keep me balanced.’
Ah noted that for some, therapy is not about discovering their sea legs but preserving them. Right on, friend, keep on, keepin’ on!
Not So Fast…
So often, I hear, ‘Nah, who needs a therapist? I have my tribe.’ Not so fast! I get it; my girls help me navigate through some rough waters. And perhaps I am a cynic, but to say we are completely honest with our friends is not entirely true. Most of us show up with a biased version of the truth. Lying is not the intent, but there is generous withholding. Shame, regret, judgment, and lack of trust are just a few culprits.
Friends are yummy blankets offering comfort; excellent at applying emotional band-aids but terrible at ripping them off. So even when we are transparent, the inclination is to protect and soften the blow. Sorry to say, this serves us zilch.
That is why I am a fan of paying professionals for honest, unapologetic, no-holds-barred dialogue, such as ‘Girl, you have lost your mind’, aka the BS button.
So…
I am curious: do you agree, or am I projecting? No doubt, I edit my truths (information) every day…am I the only one?
- She’s too conservative to hear this story
- I don’t trust her with this information
- I dim my light to make her feel better
- She is too fragile; if I tell her the truth, she will spiral?
- Her life is perfect; how could she possibly understand?
- I am so embarrassed; what would people think if they knew?
- I am tired of my life being a mess and constantly talking about my issues; it’s easier to say, ‘I am good.’
Pause & Reflect
What are you saying, Mic? I feel confused. Should I get a therapist or break up with my therapist? Am I dishonest? Are my friends liars?
Slow down, mama! My rambling is purposeful and encourages you to examine your support system.
My intent for ToGETherJOY is to discover joy;
we must be authentic and give our inner voice wings to do this.
The Takeaways
- Accept that cracks in our foundation limit our ability to be genuine.
- How can we expect to be real with others if we aren’t honest with ourselves?
- Owning our truths is crucial, and the best way to do this is by securing a dumpster (i.e., an outlet to rid of all the junk)
- If you have discovered an outlet (therapist, bestie, partner, God) that accepts ALL deliveries, excellent, carry on.
- If you do not have a dumpster, I have a judgment-free alternative for you to consider. I propose a haven to purge feelings, doubts, dreams, and fears—a place to shock, awe, and delight your inner spirit.
Journaling
Yep, pen and paper are my absolute favorite duo and medicine for the soul. Operation WRITE IT and MEAN IT is a go! Full permission to release the raw emotions and messiness of life. No filters, no apologies to be unashamedly YOU.
Giving the whispers and desires in your heart a landing spot is liberating. And Then It Happens…enlightenment.
Love you mucho,
Mic
